Friday, December 30, 2005

Farewell 2005 & Good Riddance.

Captain's log:
I write to you today December 30th, 2005.
The time now is 23:18hrs (thats 11:18pm PST).

As I approach the eve of the New Year, my reflections summon recollections of tragedy, death, loss, catastrophic weather, and insanity. Gone! Gone is the year 2005. And while I thank the Lord for allowing me to live another day, I bid farewell to 2005 with bittersweet memories, and good riddance to a year that I'm sure not to forget for years to come.

The Year in Review

One year ago, on December 26, 2004 the world greeted the entry of 2005 with the arrival of the Asian Tsunami which was caused by an underwater quake off the coast of Sumatra in Indonesia. The quake displaced the body of water stemming from the epicenter's circumference moving outwards in all directions. To the west, tsunami waves tore through the island nation of Sri Lanka and Chennai, Madras India without warning. The waves continued westward moving at 600mph hitting the Maldives Islands, The Seychelles and finally Somalia, Kenya and other parts of East Africa. To the east and northeast of the epicenter, the tsunami waves caused by the quake obliterated Banda Ache, Indonesia without warning and devastated Phi Phi Island, Phucket and other parts of exposed Thailand, Burma and Northeast India as well as Malasia and Indonesia.

Banda Ache, Indonesia

United States: Florida Hurricanes & Hurricane Katrina

There was approximately 26 hurricanes that hit the United States in 2005. Katrina was the worst, as it destroyed New Orleans, one of my favorite cities in the world.

Celebrity Losses

March 29, 2005
Johnny Cochrane
Deceased, age unknown
Johnnie Cochran

July 1, 2005
Luther Vandross, Vocalist
Deceased, age 54
Luther Vandross, July 1

August 6, 2005
Ibrahim Ferrer, Vocalist: Buena Vista Social Club
Deceased, age 78
Buena Vista Social Club musician Ibrahim Ferrer, Aug. 6

September 2, 2005
John Denver (Gilligan), Actor
Deceased, age 70
Bob Denver

November 28, 2005
Pat Morita, Actor/Comedian
Deceased, age 73
Pat Morita

Rosa Parks
Civil Rights Activist
Rosa Parks

Peter Jennings, News Anchor
Deceased, age 67
Peter Jennings

December 10, 2005
Richard Pryor, Comedian/Actor.
Deceased, age 65
Richard Pryor

December 26, 2005
Vincent Schiavelli, Actor.
Deceased, age 57
Vincent Schiavelli

Monday, December 26, 2005


So it's post-Christmas,and today I got the best gift ever. A friend of mine, (who by the way is also an old Crush-of-mine) came to visit me while in town from Southern California. We met years ago and had been friends since, corresponding via email, online and over the phone since his move away to the midwest for college. Now, he's back in state teaching and living in Southern California. Of course, he's in town for the holidays and so decided to come hangout with me for a little while.

We decided to go to the theater to see "Fun with Dick and Jane", starring Jim Carey. It was his idea to see the movie and I sort of just went along with it since I really didn't care... I just wanted to sit next to him, and stare at him. But the movie turned out to be hilarious. Jim Carey is a hot mess, and still one of my favorite funny people of all time. It was worth the bargain matinee. But still, out the side of my eye, I kept watching 'him' (my crush)... I so wanted to grab his sexy slender hands and hold them throughout the movie, but I gave myself a reality check because I know that he has a boyfriend.

Seeing him again just brought back a lot of weird feelings. I almost felt like a little kid again, my stomach full of knots the whole time. I caught myself staring at him a few seconds too long, entertaining thoughts like, "what if he was single?" and "he's so beautiful..." or, "look at that smile..". And then I would zoom back out into reality, and the knowledge that he has someone.

I couldn't get over how gorgeous he looked, with his well groomed haircut, well manicured hands, nice dark and richly smooth skintone, nice lips, white teeth and a smile that can be seen for miles away. His eyes...*omg* did I mention his eyes? Deep and profound with the cutest curly lashes. He's impecabbly handsome, but even aside from the physical, he's just a well rounded individual intellectually speaking as well. I confessed my admiration and love for him many times. And even though he is a few years younger than me, I still am at awe at his academic accomplishments and drive for success. All this incorporated into a crush, I know... It just makes the wound that much more tender. I hadn't liked anyone for a very long time, and I guess seeing him again really sent me off into the deep end...

And so it has been that my recent search for love been likened to perhaps an impossible crush, or other dreamy impossibilities.

Nevertheless, I am just plain happy that my dear friend, who I love, came to see me.

Christmas 2005

It's officially post-Christmas now. Looking back on yesterday, it was a memorable Christmas and I truly appreciated Christmas dinner with my dad's side of the family. It's a large bunch, with my dad having 10 sisters. And in the last several years I had come to evade the parties making myself as scare as possible come party time. But this year was different. I made it a point to go and see all my aunts and cousins again. I really want to cherish the moments spent with my family again. It was loud, and there were lots of group games that we played including a game called The White Elephant where you pick names, get gifts, and then get to steal a better gift from someone who picked before you. Then some of the family burst out in karaoke with a couple of stellar performances, and we watched my cousin's fist independent film review that he made at his community college as his final project. The night ended with everyone drunk and laughing and either telling ghost stories or playing Halo2. I got a set of candles, clothing, candy and men's accessories. The gifts were decent, but it hasn't even been about the gifts anymore for me...just seeing everyone laughing and smiling was enough. I was truly happy.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

100 Random Things About Me

This is dedicated to a dear friend of mine in Perth.

1. I was a weekly commuter from the Eastcoast to the Westcoast of the USA.
2. I typically crossed the continental United States four times in a four-day work week.
3. I love to travel.
4. I like big butts and I cannot lie.
5. I was flying over the White House when the plane hit the tower on September 11, 2001.
6. I like to laugh until it hurts.
7. I love different kinds of music.
8. I like to dance.
9. I like to sing.
10. I'm bi-racial.
11. I'm the grandson of a corporate lawyer.
12. I'm loved and accepted by my parents.
13. I'm currently in college.
14. I'm transferring to the university.
15. I'm a kind hearted person.
16. I'm always looking for love in all the wrong places.
17. I'm an avid reader.
18. I'm a secret fan of Andrea Bocelli.
19. I'm lightly asthmatic.
20. I'm revengeful, when wronged (trying to stop that).
21. I'm proud of where I've been.
22. I'm Pisces.
23. I'm a hopeless romantic.
24. I'm a Christian.
25. I'm an Idealist (eNFj)
26. My favorite juice is guava.
27. My favorite color is blue.
28. My favorite fruit is a cold watermelon.
29. My favorite time of the year is summer.
30. My favorite people are my parents.
31. My favorite vehicle is a plane.
32. My favorite music is R&B/Rap/Hip-Hop
33. My favorite city I've been to is Paris.
34. My favorite memoirs, "When Night Falls"-by Reynaldo Arenas
35. My favorite languages: Spanish, English, French, Portuguese, Italian, and Swahili ;-)
36. I can type 60 words per minute.
37. I can read difficult texts.
38. I can speak 3 languages fluently.
39. I can immitate people's accents.
40. I can get a sideache from laughing too much.
41. I can eat at anytime of the day or night.
42. I can come to the defense of a good heart.
43. I can get jealous (working on changing that).
44. I can be very shy.
45. I can be totally obnoxious.
46. I can be well behaved and a gentleman.
47. I can appreciate someone who makes me laugh.
48. I can not appreciate someone who discriminates.
49. I can unknowingly annoy you by being too playful.
50. I can get annoyed easily.
51. I often think too much.
52. I often ponder many great metaphysical and ethical questions.
53. I often meditate in prayer.
54. I often give thanks.
55. I often practice writing.
56. I often talk on the phone.
57. I often chat online.
58. I often multi task.
59. I often get hungry.
60. I often make my friends laugh.
61. I often let the phone ring four times or more.
62. I often roll my eyes for a long time.
63. I often compliment my friends.
64. I often am shy.
65. I often walk fast and with purpose.
66. I often doodle or draw.
67. I often write poetry.
68. I often sing when I'm bored.
69. I often socialize at big parties.
70. I often get distracted (in a good way) by those of dark skin tones.
71. I often have a big smile on my face.
72. I often don't smile when I'm thinking.
73. I often say, "oMg"
74. I often take pictures of random things.
75. I don't know what else to say.
76. I don't want to go to bed yet.
77. I don't like shady friendships.
78. I don't trust everyone at first.
79. I don't waste my time once someone has screwed me over.
80. I don't hesitate to help someone in need.
81. I don't find it necessary to be mean.
82. I don't believe violence is the answer.
83. I don't believe in succumbing to oppression.
84. I don't believe that science is wrong.
85. I don't have a problem with faith.
86. I don't believe everything I hear.
87. I don't like being stuck in one city.
88. I don't like falling asleep at the desk.
90. I don't like caffiene crashes.
91. I love outdoor barbeque.
92. I like my grits hot and sweet.
93. I like my sex rough and rugged.
94. I like my friends loyal and true.
95. I like my coffee real hot.
96. I like my lemonade cold.
97. I like the sounds of diversity.
98. I like the tastes of the world.
99. I want to one day play the berimbau and capoeira.
100. I cant believe I did this.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

An Ode To Brokeback

Beautiful and serene.
Her wide open spaces and big sky.
Her valley green.
Brokeback Mountain so pristine,
majestic in all her might.
Where the shephard dogs keep the sheep aflock,
and the herders find (among themselves) good love at night.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Under The Weather

It was bound to happen sooner or later. I hadn't gotten sick for just about a year now. And right after Brokeback Mountain- *wham*- I get the flu.

I would think it was the chicken flu for how hard it hit me. And all those days I enjoyed of good health this year are all forgotten about in these last few days that I've been sick. Oh the misery! Someone bring me some chicken soup! Yikes! Did I just say that. As a matter of fact it looks like everyone in my household is getting sick. It's a terrible feeling to spend the holiday week sick as a chicken.

While I'm on the subject of chickens, I just read an article about that dam chicken flu and the global pandemic that could occur, and its not even a matter of if, but "when". And most of the research conducted concurs that the United States and the World is unprepared for a breakout of this Chicken Flu. What is the Chicken Flu your innocent mind might be wondering? Well correct me if I'm wrong but, it's a virus that is an airborn pathogen transmitted by an infected chicken that when breathed into the lungs lodges in the lungs of the human. Once lodged in the human lung the lung's defense system attempts to flush out the invading virus by flooding the lungs with liquid. This of course drowns the lungs and in an attempt to lose some of the fluid the lungs burn holes into the lung wall to try to drain some of that liquid out but blood breaches those same holes meant to drain. The result is that the victim drowns in his/her own blood and respiratory liquids within 3days time of first infection. While the flu has its pathology in an infected chicken, this virus is transmissable from human to human once a human is infected. The possibilities are endless of how this can spiral into a global killer.

Between SARS, Mad Cow Disease, E-coli, and the Chicken Flu, I think I'm going to be a vegetarian in some remote monestary somewhere. Oh the sign of the times to come!

Goodnight for now...

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Brokeback Mountain

A Cinematic Treat

You can't live in a city like San Francisco and not be aware of the hype surrounding a movie the caliber of Brokeback Mountain (not to mention a Director like Ang Lee), and not be curious to see what all the fuss is about. This is particularly true because this story revolves around the story of gay love. In a city like San Francisco (arguably one of the larger gay capitals), it makes this movie a must see. Besides when was the last time you saw a movie about gay love and of this size and caliber other than at film festivals and documentaries that come on after midnight on the Public Broadcasting Station. This film's trailer was shown in regular movie theaters. In fact, I remember seeing the trailer while watching the movie Flight Plan and I recall my jaw dropping completely to the ground.


I was suppose to see it Thursday night with a friend ( a high-maintenance, insulting whiney and bitchy queen, if I must describe him). To make a long story short, a nice evening at the movies turned out to be a game of insult ping-pong, and I just wasn't willing to stoop to that level and ruin an otherwise perfect evening.

But what was said was said, and I took that as a cue to scram. While he was talking obnoxiously on the phone several yards away (the entire time while waiting for the line to form, mind you, which I found to be completely rude) I decided that I was going to return my ticket and re-book for Saturday. So I return my movie ticket and voila! Since I booked for Saturday 12noon, I got three dollars back since it was matinee. I gave him his ticket to do with as he pleased, and I left for home to enjoy the remainder of my evening in complete peace. With friends like that who needs enemies.


So Saturday came around and I made my way to the theater which is in the Financial District downtown. The day couldn't have been more ghastly to be outdoors. The rain poured down on the city but having already had my ticket-for-one pre-purchased, I went anyway rain or shine. The theater was completely full, and many of the theater patrons were (or gave the appearance that they were) gay. It felt a bit akward being in the theater all by myself, but it was much more pleasant than hearing my whiney friend harping insults and petty complaints in my ear. I sat next to some very nice people who made it a point to say hello to me, of which I obliged a hello right back.

I wish I would have got a Venti Starbucks before the show. It started off a bit slow and the beautiful cinematography and dialogue in combination with a muscle relaxer I took for my back pain put me in a sleepy mood. The cinematography is completely beautiful and expertly done. My mind livened up after the romp scene in the tent. Overall the movie is a masterpiece both cinematic speaking and with regards to the acting involved.

The end of the movie had an odd twist that had the audience in tears.

I do intend to see the movie over again, perhaps this time with some good company. From what I saw in the movie I really enjoyed it and would go see it again obviously.

This movie inspires me to think if there will be other movies of such caliber and seriousness that will demonstrate the love between same genderloving men and women of color as there currently isn't much representation in the general media of the other constituents of the LGBT community. Because while I'm certain that some of the constituents of color within the LGBT community (or those closeted as well) can relate to this story, I certainly would love to see in addition and similar to this wonderful story, one that exemplifies the diversity of the people that comprise same gender loving people. This certainly is a start for the big screen however...

Friday, December 09, 2005


So yeah, I'm depressed.

I think it would help if I could get my blog to look exactly how I wanted it to look like but it sucks because of the lack of knowledge that I have about altering or creating code for a new template. I try though. So far I gave my Memoirs a face lift with a little Christmas Spirit in the hopes to cheer myself up.

So what's bugging me? Well a lot of stuff I guess. Its final exam week and I think I'm stressing off of that- but also from some personal conflicts. I don't understand why people find it neccessary to get all sarcastic with you everyday.

I never really liked sarcasm much, maybe because it feels so fake to me, and maybe because it feels like it's just a waste of time, or maybe because I am a serious person and just don't find the need or use for sarcasm. I use to employ it as a kid but now as a grown ass man, I just feel as though it truly is wasted time and confuses the listener of whom you are conversing with. So that's the bottom line, I get a lot of negative energy and sarcastic wit from the people who supposedly love me and live with me whose face I have to see everyday. And I guess I could play verbal ping-pong and bounce it right back to them but doesn't that feel draining? Isn't it a waste of energy?

Sometimes people close to you could be the most dispicable because they know your life inside and out and they can and do use things against you to hurt you. It never made sense to me why people use emotional ammunition against one another if they truly love each other, it seems like ammunition and vengeance to me, but if that were the case I would rather wash my hands of the person completely, unfortunately with family it isn't that simple. But that's another story for another time...

School? What about it? It's almost done with. I transfer this coming Fall. Where? God only knows, but I am certain it will be somewhere far away from this place, where I can finally put my self to the test and be myself and grow the way that I need to grow. I'm so looking forward to it. I don't even know that I would miss this place; how it's changed so much...

... and not for the good.